Wargrounds
by Shining Riku
Summary: Young Link, Ness, Kirby, Nana and Popo, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Pichu have to go to school. Even though it's nearing the hollidays, it's FAR from happy! The bullies are on the move.
1. Time for School!

Meh…Here's another short story from me, Shining Riku. It was just an idea, so I decided to write a story. It will only be a few chapters long. This story is for anybody in need of a good laugh. Anyways, I hope you people enjoy it regardless of length! On with the show!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was winter.

Young Link stood in front of a window, with his elbows resting on the sill. He had a dreamy look on his face. He was daydreaming about playing in the snow with his friends the Ice Climbers, Ness, Pikachu, Pichu, and Jigglypuff.

"Link! Time for school!" Zelda called from the kitchen.

"Aw, man! I don't wanna go to school! I want to play in the snow!" Young link whined.

"I'm sorry, Link, but you have to go to school, whether you're a Smasher or not. You're not any more special than any other kid, unless if you count you've been on a few adventures, but that still doesn't excuse you from school." Zelda said.

"I know…"

"I have your lunch right here." She handed a paper bag to Y. Link.

"Thank you, Zelda." He said.

"You're welcome. I'll see you after school, ok?"

"Ok…"

"Link…If it makes you feel any better, I'm fixing dinner tonight, with Peach." Zelda said sweetly.

"You are!?!? Awesome!" Y. Link said excitedly.

"Yes. It's sort of my job to make up for the _horrible _cooks in this house." Zelda said with distaste.

Link groaned. He could only remember too clearly. C. Falcon cooked the dinner the other night, and it was soooo horrible! He coulda killed everybody, if it wasn't for Master Hand's miraculous anti-toxin. C. Falcon was fired as cook the same night.

"Thank goodness Captain Falcon's not allowed to cook anymore." Link sighed.

"Amen to that." Zelda said, rolling out dough and dusting it with flour.

"…What bread are you making?" Link asked curiously, standing on his tippy-toes to get a better look at the dough.

"I'm baking my famous sweet bread." Zelda said, playfully poking him in the side.

"Aw, cut it out!" Young Link laughed.

_**HONK HONK!**_

"Oh great…Captain Falcon is driving us to school?" Link groaned.

"I'm sorry, but yes…As long as he doesn't get a ticket, you should be able to get to school on time." Zelda said.

"Fat chance. He drives so fast, it's a wonder people can even see him." Young Link muttered as he stepped out of the kitchen door so that he could walk to the front door.

"Have a nice day at school!" Zelda called through the door before it closed.

Y. Link kept walking until he reached the front door, where there was a coat stand. He grabbed a long coat that covered his legs, and with a degree of difficulty, he managed to get the heavy coat off of the rack and struggled into it.

_**HONK HONK!**_

"I'M COMING!" Link yelled. He grabbed his backpack, and put it on, and then put his sack lunch in his pack. Then he walked out of the front door and over to Falcon's racing car, the Blue Falcon.

"Come on, let's not wait for the grass to grow." Falcon called out of the window after rolling it down.

"…It's winter. Duh. Grass does not grow during this season." Link replied smartly.

"Keep your smart remarks to yourself, punk." Falcon retorted.

Link sighed, and Falcon pressed a button to open the airtight car. Link hopped in next to his friends, all of which were wearing furry coats and such.

"Whatdidja get for lunch?" Popo asked him.

"Uh…Let me see." Link said, while the door sealed itself and Falcon sped off. He dug in his backpack, and pulled out the bag. He opened it, and looked inside.

There was a sandwich, a crisp, bright red apple, and a bag of chips.

"The usual." Link replied. "What about you?"

"The same…" Popo sighed.

"Pika!"

"Yeah right, Pikachu." Link said.

"You kids be quiet back there!" Falcon said loudly. "I can't concentrate on the road!"

"Ok!" Link replied, exasperated.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I hate school!" Link moaned.

"Who doesn't?" Ness said.

The group of kids walked down a hallway in school, heading for their first class.

"Uh oh…Bully alert…" Popo said quietly. He was at his locker, and he attempted to shut himself inside, but Nana pulled him out and shut it.

The bully in question was in eighth grade…Link wasn't sure. He was overweight, and quite massive. He resembled a big pig that walked on its two hind legs.

Link and his friends were only in fifth grade, and were sorta terrified of any of the bullies in the school. All of the other kids _were_ terrified.

"Hide your food. Here comes vacuum man." Nana whispered.

Thankfully, the kids had large coats, so they could hide their food quite safely.

"Sniff Sniff….Fe fi fo yum! I'm HUNGRY! And I smell FOOD!" The fat kid bellowed.

"Oh shoot…" Ness mumbled.

"YOU!" The fat kid pointed at the friends.

"Me?" Link asked, pointing at himself. Then he looked around, and the whole long hallway was quite barren. Nobody in sight but themselves and the human vacuum.

"YES, DWEEB! YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO ME!" The fat kid roared.

"This?" Link held up his lunch. "This? This is mine, fatso. It's not my fault you went and ate your house out, and then ate the house too! Go pick on someone your own size!" Link snapped.

"No one else _is_ his size." Popo whispered.

"YOU HAVE THAT WRONG! THAT FOOD IS MINE!" The kid ordered.

"Have you ever thought about why all of us kids are skinny? It's because you eat all of the food in this whole school! Even the cafeteria lady is scared of you! Do you only think about yourself?" Link asked angrily.

"GIVE ME THE FOOD, AND I WILL SPARE YOU!" The kid said.

"**_Fat Chance!_**" Link said, placing _heavy_ emphasis on the two words.

"Come and take it, tubby!" Ness said, pulling out his baseball bat.

"Break it up!" Master Hand ordered. He happened to be the principal of the school, too.

"I'll get that food someday, mark my words." The fat kid said as he walked off. "You're gonna get it during recess!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Nana taunted.

"Jiggly!" Jigglypuff said, doing her taunt and rolling around on the ground.

"Man, let's hope we're lucky enough to not run into another bully today…" Link said.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Um…I don't know what you people think about my story so far, so please review it! I hope you enjoyed it. Also, I'm far from finished! Till next time, people!**


	2. A day of Bullies

**Quite depressing…No reviews. The story's been out a few days, and no reviews.**

**Obviously, to you shadow readers, you people who don't review, this is the next chapter. Please enjoy, and please review!**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"Hey, any idea what classes we have today? I know they changed the schedule." Y. Link said.

"Um…Give me a sec." Ness said, pulling out a paper and looking at it quickly.

"Shoot. I didn't know there was a bully class!" Ness exclaimed vehemently.

"Why? Do we have to go to it?" Popo asked suspiciously.

"Yes." Ness admitted with a grimace. "I did not know that Master Hand endorsed in such things."

"But we're not bullies!" Nana whined.

"Jiggly…" Jigglypuff said sadly.

"Pi." Pikachu said, trying to cheer her up.

"Well, whether we're bullies or not, we have to go." Link said. "I'd rather be in there, than getting spanked by Master Hand."

"YIPES! I agree!" Ness said hastily, at the mention of Master Hand.

Everybody else agreed, and they all dashed madly for their classroom.

"NO Running in the hallways!" The janitor cried.

"Sorry!" Link called back. Now, they walked fast to get to their class in time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Creak…_ Link pushed the classroom doors open, and the Smashers sneaked into their designated desks.

It was your average classroom, only it was chock full of moronic bullies. There was the fat bully from earlier, an extremely oversized and muscular bully, and there were various others.

Link slipped into his desk noiselessly, and kept as silent as the voids of outer space. He looked around the room warily, but none of the bullies had noticed him…yet.

Another silent scan of the room revealed that the teacher was not there yet. Link could only wonder if the room was going to be worse if the teacher was there, or without.

He was answered when the door slammed open and Bowser strolled into the room and walked up to the podium at the front of the room.

"There will be no need for books and such today." Bowser growled. "Most likely, most of you are too stupid to read anyways. It's a miracle that you are even here right now, so don't give me a reason to roast you, because I have that right." Bowser said, slamming his fist on his podium over and over, making the whole room shake.

"So…What are we here to learn again?" The muscular bully asked in a slow, deliberate way.

"You are here to learn how to deal with bullies, and to be bullies., depending on what you wusses like doing." Bowser growled again.

"Question." Ness said, raising his hand.

"Speak." Bowser ordered.

"Um…how do you plan on teaching us? Play acting?" Ness stuttered.

"Correct." Bowser smiled, although it looked more like a leer. "I will explain scenarios, and I will ask for volunteers. Depending on the scenario, you will be expected to act on your own terms, and at your own risk. The bully, or the victim, will win only by their own wit, ingenuity, and best of all, strength or lack of moral discipline."

"Do you like picking on people?" The fat bully asked.

"Me?" Bowser asked pointing at himself. "Not anymore. I'm just the teacher because I'm extremely experienced."

"Are we, the bullies, allowed to pick on you?" The muscular bully asked.

"Try me…" Bowser growled menacingly. That instantly shut up the bully, and Bowser continued his teaching.

"Now, time for scenario one…" Bowser said.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Yeah!" Link cheered. "You showed that bully, Ness!"

"Yeah, he got OWNED!" Popo yelled triumphantly.

"I never expected Bowser to be such a good teacher." Nana said thoughtfully.

"Pika!" Pikachu agreed.

"Really…it was nothing." Ness said modestly.

"Jiggly." Jigglypuff said.

"Thanks." Ness said. "Really, all Bowser said was use your ingenuity and wit, and since I actually HAVE morals, I was able to show the idiot up. Quite simple." Ness said.

"Yeah…Popo here got sat on by the fat bully. Sill feeling a little flat, friend?" Link asked concernedly.

"Ugh…I'll never forget the smell." Popo gagged.

"I won't let that happen again." Nana said.

"I like how you got him off, though." Ness said. "You got that sharp piece of ice, and…" Ness made a swift jabbing motion. "…WHAMMED in into his butt!"

"That was fun!" Popo laughed. "He squealed like a pig, and galloped all over the room until Bowser lost his patience and gave him a REAL reason to run around screaming."

"Now THAT'S a REAL way to bully somebody." Link quoted Bowser.

"It was too good to be true." Ness sighed.

"Yeah…But at least we stand a better chance against injustice, though." Link said.

"GIVE ME THAT FOOD!" The fat bully bellowed again. He was running at the group of kids, and going as fast as a train that's lost control.

Thinking quickly, Popo and Nana pulled out sharp icicles, and placed them on the ground just as the bully jumped at them to land on them. They dived to the side, just as the bully landed on the mound of sharp ice.

The bully sat there, with an unfathomable expression, and then after a few seconds, screamed like a monstrous creature, and ran around the hallway, bowling anything unfortunate enough to get in his way. That included the janitor, the walls, the kids getting stuff from their lockers, and…Master Hand. Master Hand spanked him, which only made the problem worse, and the bully was rushed to the hospital to get his butt stitched back together.

"Ouch…" Link grimaced as he looked at the decimated hallway.

"Tough luck for the underpaid Janitor." Popo said.

"Pika!" Pikachu said.

"You said it." Ness whistled as he looked around.

_**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!**_

"That was the recess bell!" Nana yelled joyfully.

"JIGGLY!" Jigglypuff said happily.

"Let's go, and celebrate the Ice Climber's victory over Fatman Eatspork!" Link said, putting his hand out. The rest of the Smashers put their hands in, and then they all threw their hand up in the air and cheered, and then ran for the playground.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**You know, I should have said something earlier.**

**Game 2002 sorta inspired this story with his own story, Those who deserve beatings.**

**And so, I dedicate this story to him, for outstanding and strong morals, and to a better future empty of needless torture and neglect.**

**Also, this story is a Christmas Special.**

**Ending Note: For those of you who are abusive bullies, that are reading this story, I only hope that you will, someday, come to realize that there is nothing to be gained from being evil. If you have insecurities, it is best to find some understanding people that you can call friends. Do not hide behind the cruel shield of sin, it will only destroy you from the inside.**

**Good luck, to you all, and may you find good friends, for those of you that lack them.**

**P.S.( To find a friend, the best tactic is to BE a friend. To be a GOOD friend requires good morals, and a kind nature.)**


End file.
